We spoke to Alex (she/her) in Buffalo, NY on July 16, 2026. Alex served in the US Air Force Reserve from 2017 until 2023 and then in the Individual Ready Reserve until 2025. She was discharged as a Senior Airman in 2025 after she filed for disability. Alex was adopted from Russia as an infant, and she told us that she enlisted out of a sense of civic duty. “This country has given me everything that I had ever wanted,” she said. “That’s why I felt I needed to give back.” Early in high school, she was a part of the Air Force Junior ROTC program, and this experience cemented her commitment to joining the military.

Alex was out when she enlisted, and she assumed that she would be able to serve as openly queer in the years following the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. However, she explained that she “did not expect what I experienced.” In place of tolerance and equal treatment, Alex faced incessant bullying, harassment, and discrimination from peers and supervisors alike. She told us that this hostile climate prevailed because there were few repercussions for homophobic behavior in the Reserves. When Alex filed a formal complaint against a supervisor, the decision was not to reprimand her abuser but to remove Alex from her unit and relocate her to the Development and Training Flight program. 

Alex encountered few out queer people in the Reserves, and she found just as few allies and safe spaces. Over time, she realized that it was impossible for her to excel, or even succeed, at her job in face of far-reaching homophobia. In addition to a lack of adequate support for alcoholism, sexual assault, PTSD, and a severe spinal injury, Alex cited anti-LGBTQ treatment as the most important reasons for out processing from the Reserves. 

Today, Alex lives as an out asexual lesbian with her wife Kristen in Buffalo, NY. She is proud of her service, and she carries her veteran and queer identities proudly alongside other intersecting sides of herself, including immigrant, woman, disabled, programmer, and “smart ass.” Alex described herself as “very, very, very happy.”