We spoke to Jared (he/him) in Buffalo, NY on April 10, 2026. Jared served from 2008 to 2022. While he was on active duty, he served in the US Army, including on a deployment to Afghanistan, and he was later discharged as a Sergeant from the Army Reserve. Jared comes from a military family, and he told us that he enlisted out of financial necessity. 

Jared knew that he was queer before joining, but he did not feel safe to come out in his rural and religious hometown in Western New York. “That whole part of me had to stay hidden,” he remembered. After he joined the military, just a few years before Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was repealed, Jared began encountering other queer people, including in leadership roles, who modeled openness for him. Thinking back to his service, he reflected that “I didn’t get freedom until I joined.” The military ultimately helped Jared come into his own as an adult by giving him space to explore the different facets of his identity. After he left the military and returned to New York, he felt confident enough to come out.

Today, Jared lives as an out gay man with his partner in Buffalo, NY. He credits his time in the military as letting him “be me for once.” He certainly gained professional training, an education, and a sense of satisfaction in serving. More than that, he told us that that the military gave him a sense of freedom. Jared honors that freedom by serving queer veterans; he is the founder of the LGBTQ+ Valhalla Collective and runs a Facebook community for veterans by the same name.